Thought I’d jump ahead a bit this week. The series of the exes continues with my fit ex. He was a long-term friend of mine. We’d grown up together, and while we had a little blip of high school “dating” I never really thought our paths would cross again. Well, as the universe would have it, we did and we ended up being together for around three years.
While I’d say the three years passed in the blink of an eye, I bet he’d think of it differently. Like my high school sweetheart, this guy was my other “good guy.” He would have given me the shirt off his back, and every piece of his soul. To make the married ladies drool? This guy cooked, cleaned, could fix things, AND looked fabulous with his shirt off. So, what happened? Good question.
Another turning point in my life. There were a lot of personal, miserable life changes happening during our time. I was sick of being in school, suffered a bit of a rough transition between moving cities, and was struggling with balancing life and work. Most of all? I just couldn’t give to him what he was giving to me. I really couldn’t open my heart to him the way I should have; I wasn’t ready or capable of that at that time.
So, back to the point of this special series… what did I learn from this relationship? What good came of this one? Looking back, this guy taught me what I should look to achieve in a relationship in terms of the give. He was willing to give, be open, and cater to my every need. It also taught me that I need to be able to give, be open and cater to their needs, or a relationship would be heading towards the crapper like this one did.
My Mom (who has been getting a few cameos lately) always has said that I have a tendency to take on the hobby of the guy I’m with at the time. The joke in the family is “god forbid I ever date a wrestler.” This guy was a skier. I had skied as a child but hadn’t skied in years until we reconnected. We had a wail of a time on skiing trips. We went to hills all over Ontario and into New York. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t still ski today. A hobby I regularly still enjoy. Might seem superficial, but I have him to thank for that too.
The greatest lesson of all though was the stage of life we were spending together. If there’s one thing I could say to him, it’s one big THANK YOU. I was a pain in that ass those years; as my friends, my family, and possibly even my coworkers, could attest to. And this guy? He stood by me. He was willing to stand by me forever. While I’m sorry I couldn’t give it back to him like he deserved, I’m not sorry for letting him go. He deserved better and I would like to hope that he’s happier now. 🙂
Neither one of us was perfect, we were far from perfect together, but those were some pretty pivotal years and I’m glad he was a part of them.