Time for some “fun” stories; the challenging stuff. Or possibly, the “tough” guys for the next few weeks.
Last night, being Wednesday, I had this post half written. I thought about all the ups and downs; the roller coaster of the relationship and started writing my silver lining. Then tonight, I got together with some great friends (seriously, great friends are a gem) and we started to do a bit of last-minute research.
It was a fun gift to find out that this particular ex recently unlocked his Instagram profile (yikes) and it proved kind of interesting – it turns out that while we were dating, he was already dating his current girlfriend (also yikes)… but, while an interesting piece of research, that is not the point of the blog. It’s all about the silver lining. So, here we go…
He was a short-term friend that I met through a friend of mine. There were a lot of jokes between us that always made for a fun story. Between us, I was Katy Perry and he was Bruce Willis – I looked similar to Katy and he was bald like Bruce Willis (at the time), so when the time was right (I thought), we ended up at the same place at the same time.
It was fun. He was the “bro” I needed at the time. It’s ironic because he had always described one of my exes as, “I get it. He’s a great “bro,” but an asshole.” But in the end, HE was my great bro and one of the toughest turning points of my life. I will never call him names though, as I needed a friend and I was glad he was there at the time.
The difficulty was – he was tough; tough on the emotions really. He wanted me to be intelligent, determined and committed to my job, yet fit as all hell and submissive; he craved perfection. It just wasn’t possible for me. If I had 4 hours a day to spend at the gym, would I? Nowadays, probably. Then? Oh, hell no. I felt like I couldn’t match the perfect image he had in his mind, but now a part of me understands that our demise was a combination of things.
First of all, if I was comfortable in my own skin the things he said and did would never have affected me the way they did. I would never have felt as insecure and awful as I did. And, to top it off? If you’re meant to “be” with someone, they will never make you fight to fulfill their needs. The time with him was tough, but it was also a time of reflection.
After dating this guy, I dove deep into meditation and journaling. I realized there was a lot to learn about myself. Finally, I wanted to explore that. If it wasn’t for this guy I don’t know that I ever would have, because at the lowest point I was able to finally pick myself up and grow – grow beyond what I ever thought was imaginable.
Beyond that, he re-introduced me to something I love so much – golf. I had golfed back in high school but hadn’t visited it since. Luckily, since dating this guy, it has stuck with me since and I can’t imagine I’d golf as much as I do now without him. I went from fearing my irons to conquering them on the course – so I thank him for that too.
Honestly, even beyond this evening’s discovery, I do not have any hard feelings for this guy. While tonight confirmed suspicions, I had always had that inkling that things were not genuine, I hope the best for him and am glad it was another chapter of my life.
They say that everything happens for a reason – and for me, this guy sparked where I am today. He made me more comfortable in my own skin than ever before. I thank him for re-introducing me to one of my favourite sports and encouraging me to be the best I can be. 🙂