“I’m tall, you’re tall, I thought we should meet.” This is literally the first introduction I had to the man who would end up playing quite the role in my university experience. We were the saga that never seemed to end. From first year to the end of fourth year, it was a roller coaster of emotions; our experience full of trials, tribulations, and a few awesome times too.
At first I couldn’t decide what to name this post, nor what good came out of this relationship, but I decided to name it “A Tale of the Blue Scarf” from a series of photos that we decided to taunt in university. Completely unfair to this guy (it had been a modeling shoot), they became a legendary giggle between friends. Given, after the brutal whirlwind of experiences, I think the giggle was much needed and warranted at the time. Looking back? It was so unnecessary.
That’s one of the lessons I learnt from this relationship – there was so much “unnecessary” in it. So much unnecessary pain, unnecessary taunting, unnecessary back-stabbing and loathing. There was a lot of pain that could have been saved by simple, grown-up communication and admitting defeat. In the end though, I was proud of the way we ended things. We aired everything out and went our separate ways.
Now, for the best part of our relationship…
I’m not sure how my friend will feel about this one, but because of this guy I have one of my dearest friends. At the time, my youthful self thought that she might be “with” him and naturally I had my back up against it. However, as we met (like the best friendships do) in a bathroom at a bar, I didn’t realize how much of a dear friend she would become. While we don’t see each other as frequently as we would like, we still know we are both there for each other, and (as crazy as it may seem) I can’t imagine if our friendship would exist (or if it would be what it was) without this guy.
I wish I could say that I’ve taken more good out of this relationship than that (even though she’s literally the bestest), but I haven’t. More than anything, that relationship taught me a lot about what I don’t want, what I won’t tolerate, and how a relationship shouldn’t be. It was detrimental to my friendships, my health and (to a certain extent) my university experience. A lot of time wasted on something that brought a lot of anguish to my life.
So, in the end, I’m thankful for the dear friend, and I’m thankful for the lessons.
May he be happy and may he be well, but if we never crossed paths again? That would be great.