A few weeks ago I backed out of week five of my “Silver Living Exes Series.” Correction, I wussed out of writing week five. Most of the other situations I talked about in previous weeks, I’m removed from now. However, week five is different because I’m not completely removed… and it’s different. How? Let me tell you.
He’s the one who taught me the most. He also hurt me the most. He’s the one who brought me out of my cold-hearted shell and encouraged me to be the absolute best I can be (and how to discover what that is). He’s still a dear friend, even if we don’t talk as much as we would like to. Unfortunately, he’s really the ex that never had the chance to actually be an ex.
I spoke in another post about meeting another best friend in a bathroom. For me, it would seem that many of my friendships start in the most unusual of places and with the most unusual of people. He and I worked together and honestly, our friendship started with him often eating his breakfast at my desk. This guy was older and not someone that I would have ever predicted being such incredible friends with. Yet, there we were; connecting as best friends do. Talking about every aspect of our lives, and encouraging each other to strive for the stars and the moon (and beyond). Like best friends do.
Lately, he hasn’t been 100% himself. So, that was inspiration to come out of my shell, brighten his day, inspire yours (the reader) and pour my heart onto the blog page.
It doesn’t matter how much time or distance is between him and I, we know we are supporting each other. We space ourselves because we want to and need to, but really it doesn’t matter. It’s the joys of having a best friend; the genuine kind that truly wants what is best for you and is willing to give you the space you need to achieve all of your life goals/dreams.
Honestly, I could write forever about this (I need a week 6, 7, 8, 9, 10), but let me summarize, for the sake of a smile, some of the best things he taught me:
Are you happy? Dance. Are you sad? Dance. Are you getting ready for a night on the town or jamming out during your morning routine? Dance. I’ve always been inspired by music, but he taught me to look for the meaning of every song I hear. He heard things in songs that I never had before. It’s one thing to listen to the beat or even the lyrics, it’s another thing to find the song’s soul and he rocked that. It may seem a touch superficial, but it was one of the first things that got us chatting and now I listen a little more closely to all the music I hear.
Face the Facts
While I know he sometimes struggles with this himself, it is something he always pushed with me. Even if something is hard or “not so pretty,” the best way to face something is head on. Talk it through and don’t hold anything back. Don’t sugar coat it or try to omit any facts – just say it. The quicker you pull off any band-aid, the quicker you can get air at it and start the healing process. It’s not always easy and it’s not always quick, but it’s necessary. Thank you for giving me strength.
Trust is the Only Way
Best friends share secrets. Best friends tell people things they have never told anyone before. While this isn’t necessarily the “silver lining” of our friendship, it was something that really resonated with me. There’s nothing better than someone turning to you after a story and saying “I’ve never told that to anyone…” It’s the kind of thing that makes you realize how genuinely special you are to them. It has also made me realize in life that only some people are worthy of your secrets. Prior to him, I was an open book. Now? I’m selective about who gets to hear and see my whole, true self.
Be with your Best Friend
For him and I, things didn’t work out. The end of the cheesy Taylor Swift song never came. Even as he reads this, I’m not quite sure what he’ll think, but it’s been pretty awesome to finally realize what every love cliche ever meant about being with your best friend. While I know I am on the path to find my best friend to share my “forever” with, he taught me that friendship should always come first. If you’re in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, you’ll lose that sparkle in your eye – that piece of you that makes you, you. If you’re with your best friend? Every day is a sleepover. Every day is an adventure. Every day is a challenge you WANT to take on because you have your equal beside you. You have the number one person on earth that you trust holding your hand and making you a better person. THAT is love. Whether it be a friendship or a marriage, I don’t want someone by my side that won’t be that person. “My” person. Prior to “Week Five” I was so focused on quantity instead of quality friends. Thank you for teaching me that surrounding myself with great people is better than just surrounding myself with “people.”
Like I said, I could go on for a long time about everything this person taught me, because he taught me a LOT. Many good things and some bad things too – he taught me about myself and who I am/want to become. He taught me to support and respect, even when I don’t understand. He taught me to focus on bettering myself when things get tough. He taught me that one can face the toughest of adversity and come out so much better on the other side.
He brought a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and a touch of pain to my heart, but most of all he has brought me joy. Thank you for being my rock and support. No matter how much time or distance, the best of friends will always be.