How many times have you thought, “if that was me I would…”? How many times have you judged someone else for something that they did or did not do? It’s always so much easier from the outside looking in, isn’t it?
It’s easy to sit on the outside and say that you’d do a certain thing. Whether it be pertaining to professional or personal life, many of us are quick to judge someone else and assess how we could “do it better”. Yet when it comes to our own choices, we are the Kings and Queens of excuses and reasoning.
The reason I bring this topic up today is that I’m one of “those” people. I’m what my friends might call the intuitive friend that they often turn to for guidance. I like being the guidance friend because I usually look at a whole picture and then make an assessment. Whether or not the friend or family member listen is completely up to them – we all make choices that are the best for us.
Being the intuitive/guidance kind though I am often one of the first people to make an assessment in just about any situation. I sometimes think I know things that I most likely don’t and am quick to judge situations before having all the information. My intuitive side? A strength. My judge-y side? A weakness.
But here’s the deal…All it takes is listening to change you. Listening to the reasoning of a person in an impossible situation. Listening to the facts and values of that person that you maybe didn’t understand before – and even if you don’t understand them, now you can at least attempt to see where the person is coming from.
It’s too easy to judge and make comments from the outside. To tell that person in a crappy job to “just leave.” Or to shame that person for staying in the “wrong relationship.” We don’t know the facts. We don’t know their reasoning. But best of all… and listen closely to this one…
If the scenario doesn’t affect you or involve you – it’s none of your business. None. Zip. Zap. Zilch. People choose to stay in whatever jobs, locations, relationships and more that work for them because that is their choice to do so. Whatever their reasoning is, it is not your reasoning to figure out.
I think we need to spend a little less time judging, a lot more time accepting and a TON more time listening. It’s amazing what you can learn when you step back, listen and picture walking a mile in someone else’s shoes.
Try their shoes on for size and maybe get a glimpse into something you thought you knew from a whole new angle… 🙂