Lately, I haven’t been blogging a whole lot. It’s not due to lack of material, because lord knows I have a ton of that, but due to a combination of lack of time, and the opposite of writer’s block. I have too much to write about. So it is time to get back on track. Today, I want to take a moment to discuss a little saying that I’ve heard a lot over the years and said quite a few times myself – “you deserve more.”
We all have an opinion on others and what they deserve. We look from the outside in and think we can analyze when someone is short-changing themselves. My friends have said it to me, my family has said it to me, and I cannot begin to express how many times I have shared similar thoughts to those in my life.
But what does this really mean?
Who are we to judge a life journey of another and deem ourselves more qualified than them on their life? Sometimes it is too easy to sit in the stands and judge what is going on in the rink. Just like hockey, you never know what the experience is like until you’re playing the game.
The difference between hockey and life is that there’s no coach on the bench (most days…lol). It’s like we are playing the messiest game of shinny, no one has set positions, and we are a bunch of Timbits racing after the puck hoping we are able to score in this game called life. But in hockey, it progresses, and with it comes coaching, training, and a lot of work to make sure you are playing the game right.
So, why do we not trust in our coaches of life?
Coaches in hockey are people that have played the game. Years of experience and training, adversity and resilience; they are people who are well-versed in the plays and players. Coaches are able to guide and develop the players based on experience; they know when a player needs more and deserves more. See what I’m getting at here?
It’s true that many are sitting in the stands, judging our lives and what we deserve, but maybe there’s a hidden coach in there that you just might want to listen to. The person who has left a terrible job; a person who has risen up from nothing and made it work; a person who has not only experienced divorce but knows how great the outcomes can be from it. Sometimes we need a coach to say, “you deserve more, but it’s going to take hard work to achieve it.”
This might not always be the case, as the uneducated and untrained always like to have an opinion, but the words of others might just be the words you need to hear. As my friends and family have coached me along the way, they have been right and they have been wrong. On many occasions, I have deserved more but I needed to be a stubborn player that played my own game. I needed to ignore the coaches until they could say, “I told you so.” Other times I have proven them wrong and made the somewhat impossible happen. It all depends on whether the coach has been in the game before.
So, today, I challenge you to pause before you tell someone they deserve more. Are you qualified to be their coach? Have you played their game? Sometimes those going through the most difficult of times do not need a coach, they just need a friend. Listen to them, hug them as they cry, and let them make their own mistakes. Sometimes you just have to have faith in the bigger picture and realize if they deserve more, they will figure it out someday – you just hope that the day is sooner rather than later.